Sunday, February 14, 2010

Essay 1.2: (Problems to the Climate Bill)

Global Warming is a topic that is heavily debated everyday in our society. These greenhouse gases are slowly ruining our planet which asks for drastic solutions. Last December, representatives from 192 nations gathered in Copenhagen to make a plan that will drastically change the course of global warming. This meeting aimed to reduce carbon emissions in the air created by burning of fossil fuels. The meeting urged the nations to create a plan that will “reduce greenhouse gases by 5.2% from 1990 levels” (Vergano). In The New York Times editorial “The Case for a Climate Bill”, the author talks about the importance of a bill that puts both a cap and a price on carbon emissions. This climate bill is having a hard time passing through Congress because even though it will reduce carbon emissions, there are many side effects to this plan. The editor of “The Case for a Climate Bill” resorts to using President Obama as the only hope for this bill to pass. “They will need help. Mr. Obama is the best person to provide it” (Case for a Climate Bill). President Obama will need to make a case for this bill to be even considered by congress. This bill will hurt both developing and developed countries because it will only harm the recession this world is already facing.

There are many reasons to why this bill will not work in this society we live in. Nations have no intention on letting the developed world force them to stop using fossil fuels. Many nations depend on these carbon emitting fuels to create energy and run their country. Restricting these nations from this source of income would greatly affect their economy denying many nations to industrialize and keeping their population in poverty. This is what this bill is asking the world to accept. The editor of “The Case for a Climate Bill” is ignorantly saying “a good program would create more jobs than its cost”. This bill will affect every household in the country. “In June, the Congressional Budget Office estimated the costs of creating a carbon "market" to achieve such cuts would be about $175 a year by then for the average household.”(Vergano) This amount of money every year is not worth lowering the temperature by 2 degrees Celsius in the next couple hundred years, especially with most of the world still staggering from the worst recession in 40 years.

Developed countries here also have no interest in this bill because of the consequences of trying to cut carbon emissions. All the economic models show that to keep the temperature increases of the earth less than 2 degrees Celsius, nations would need to start putting a carbon tax on carbon emissions. If this bill passes, the bill will be asking the refiners somewhere “between $30 billion and $110 billion a year” (Helman). This will drastically increase the price of gasoline in this recession filled world. There are many calculations that predict that this is 50 times more expensive than the climate damage this bill seeks to prevent. So, the main reason this bill is not getting much attention is because the price of solving this problem is far more expensive than the damage this bill is trying to prevent.

The main debate focuses on how man can cope with this man-made problem. For many years, environmentalists have been following the same path on solving this situation by urging governments to pass laws that will drastically lower the carbon emissions in the air. We see this same pattern occur again in the meeting at Copenhagen. Policy makers need to realize this and quickly change their plan before it is too late. So, what is next? What can we do to solve this problem more effectively? The burning of fossil fuels creates carbon emissions that are slowly ruining the planet we are living in. So, it should make sense to stop creating energy via burning of fossil fuels. The only way to reduce our fossil fuels without hurting the world’s economy in this recession is to invest in green energy creating technology. Unlike the editor’s theory of “The Case for a Climate Bill” about the bill creating more jobs, the oil refiner companies begs to differ. If this bill passes “Ihne predicts that at least 15 of the current 150 plants, capable of processing roughly 2 million barrels of oil a day, will close, eliminating 5,000 jobs” (Helman). The only way to solve this problem is by investing in technologies that create non carbon based energy.

This new way of going about solving this problem will create more jobs. The increased spending on research and development will create more jobs, which will also help the economy. Some examples of non carbon based energies are nuclear, wind, solar, and geothermal. Although there are many alternatives to creating energy, they are not nearly as effective and productive as burning fossil fuels which unfortunately create carbon emissions. So, our next step should be investing on creating new technologies and ways in which we can create energy without hurting our environment. Instead of putting a tax on carbon emissions, just a little percent of the global GDP can create breakthroughs needed to stimulate a carbon free future.

The bill that the editor of “The Case for a Climate Bill” is supporting will only hurt the economy and stop nations from industrializing. Policy makers have been arguing and debating about putting a tax on carbon emissions will help nations, yet not one nation is willing to accept this change. The reason for this is because they know that there will be more problems from this than solutions. The only solution to this is by investing on technologies that creates carbon free energy. We need to realize that all these meetings of nations, such as that at Copenhagen, are not working. We need to find alternative ways of creating energy without generating global warming.

Vergano, Dan. "Global warming cuts have a price." EBSCOhost. USA Today, 24 Nov. 2009. Web. 5 Feb. 2010. .

Helman, Christopher. "Cap-and-Smother." EBSCOhost. Forbes, 30 Nov. 2009. Web. 5 Feb. 2010. .

"The Case for a Climate Bill." Editorial. New York Times [New York] 24 Jan. 2010, New York ed., WK9 sec. NYTimes. 24 Jan. 2010. Web. 5 Feb. 2010. .

18 comments:

  1. Dear Bibek,
    Really great job. You obviously took the time to research your topic and found good sources to back up what you learned. You did a good job of explaining what the author was arguing. But there are some things you can improve on. The intro paragraph was very informative but I almost felt like it was too informative. I was a little overwhelmed by all the info that was given. So I would maybe cut back on that a little and make it more straightforward. Also, I would introduce the author by saying his name, who he is, and how he knows about this topic. I also noticed that further into your paper you talk a lot about technology and creating new jobs. This sort of came out of nowhere because you didn’t explain that in your intro. So I would take the time to make that known earlier in your paper. But other than that I really enjoyed reading your paper.
    Railey

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  2. Bibek,
    I think this is a really interesting topic, obviously it is a very important issue of the moment. I really enjoyed reading it, and thought your paper was really good, but there are some things that can be improved. The opening paragraph, is a little confusing to me. It is really informative, but seems to have too much information and is a little hard to follow. I would suggest explaining more in the paper what greenhouse gases are so the reader knows, if they had never heard of them before. With that being said, I think that your paper got stronger as it goes along. If you could work on your opening few paragraphs to make them stronger, I believe your paper will be that much better!- Olivia Miller

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  3. Bibek,
    You chose a great topic. Global warming is something everyone has heard about and usually wants to hear more of. I think you used your sources really well in your paper. They back up your points and give good evidence to the reader. However, I think your paragraphs are way too long. You usually have at least two thoughts per paragraph which gets to be a little overwhelming. I suggest that each time you introduce a new thought, start a new paragraph. Your paper will flow better and you can manage all your points much easier. Also, you probably didn’t realize it as you were writing but you used the word “this” A LOT. Address the bill by name and that will take out “this” a lot in your paper. Additionally, I think you need to clearly state your opinion on the topic more throughout your paper. Other than that I think you have a well-written paper. I enjoyed reading it. Brooke Covington

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  4. Bibek,
    I think you have a really good start to this paper. I see a lot of really good ideas in your paper I just feel like they are a little hidden.
    You did a really nice job of opening the paper with some of th points you didn't like abot the article you read. You also had a very strong and clear sentence that stated your stance on the issue.
    However, when you get into the main part of your paper you seem to lack context nd relativity. I think one thing that will greatly inhance your paper is if you expand on every point you made in your argument. Don't be afraid to ake bold statements and show how you really feel about the issue. Most of your points we things like "these countries don't think this bill will be good" or "thy think this" but I think you need to add more of your own voice in your paper. Show what you believe will happen and I'm sure you'd be able tofind sources to back up your opinion.
    Other than that I didn't see much else that needed correction in your paper. You really do have strong points you just need to expand on them.
    Hope this helped and good luck on your paper,
    Kara

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  5. Hi Bibek :)

    I liked your essay because it was very factual and included a lot of strong data and valid points. I liked the point of views you did include but i think more would be much more beneficial.

    Some things to consider- (technical) address your essay to the editor and also introduce where the editorial came from (5Ws). I also think going into more detail about global warming and kind of explaining it- most people do know but I think it would help your opening paragraph be a little more dramatic and interesting that something does need to be done.

    I liked that you refuted all of the editors arguments and points but also in the end gave a counterargument. I think maybe you should elaborate on this a little more and give other suggestions to help the climate crisis. Overall, I think more point of view sources to make the essay a little more personal would be helpful and hearing more of your own voice rather than facts would also be great. Good Luck :)


    Danielle

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  6. Hi~ Bibek!
    I think your topic is very interesting and I enjoyed reading your essay. The topic is very important to us and it is very controversial topic. I like your challenging to talk about this topic. I really like the beginning of how you explain the global warming. From the beginning, I could feel how the global warming is very serious and it is helping to know your opinion of global warming. However, I am a little bit confusing your paragraph. Each one paragraph has many opinions at the same time, so I suggest focusing one problem. Through your paragraph, I couldn’t feel how you think about the problems. Mostly, you are talking about general things and people not your own voice. It means if you talk about your opinions with your voices that will be better essay. Because of those things, I am a little bit confusing what your opinions are, and what you want to talk about. Also, if you add some information about your editorial, it is easy to understand what your editorial is. Your topic and the first paragraph of explanation about the problems and your opinions are very good. I hope my comments are help to you!

    Thank you

    Minsun

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. I think you addressed your argument well in your essay. The structure and order of your paper was pretty good. I feel like you had a good introduction, but I think you should introduce the author that you are rebutting so your audience can get a sense of his credibility. While I was reading your argument I felt that it was lacking your voice, add some more of your opinions to the piece. You did a good job with your research and incorporating the information. I feel like you repeat “The Case for a Climate Bill” a lot, you should try to find a variety of ways to bring up the article in your sentences. Good Job Bibek!

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  9. Bibek

    I found your topic very interesting. It shows that you have done some hard work on your researching. You had very good points in your paper that made me actually think. I was a bit confused at some points though. For example, your paragraph about creating new jobs... You started off by talking about jobs then changed the subject mid paragraph to carbon based energies. It was just confusing. I suggest just focusing in on one subject and in each paragraph. Make new paragraphs if need be. Other than that great job citing your sources and good luck in your revisions.

    Lauren

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  10. Dear Bibek,

    First of all I really like your topic since global warming is a growing problem in our society and many people have different opinions of how to fix it. I agree with you that passing the Bill might affect the economy and that finding alternative ways to reduce the emission of carbon dioxide is a better idea. I understand that the author's name is not given on the editorial and you did a great job with in-text citations by providing the title of the editorial. You clearly have many great ideas but I do feel that if you organize your ideas better your paper will be stronger. The "Ihne predicts that at least 15 of the current 150 plants...eliminating 5,000 jobs" quote I think is not appropriate for your 4th paragraph. I would suggest moving it to 2nd or 3rd paragraph where you talk about the economy. Also you provided a great idea that investing in green energy creaing technology is the best solution, but you didn't back it up with evidences. Providing evidences for each paragraph will make your essay much more stronger. I like how you don't agree with the author about passing the Bill but you have the same purpose as the author, that we need to do something about global warming. If you expand on your reasons and back them up with evidences then I think your final essay will be better. Great job with coming up with great ideas! Keep up the good work and good luck!

    Sora Shin

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  11. Bibek,

    I really enjoyed reading your paper. This is an issue all of us have heard about, and it was nice to see someone else's view.

    I thought your intro was good. It was informative, and explained about your article. You also opened up with a solid and well written thesis.

    However, after reading your paper I noticed that you didn't voice your opinion as much as I thought you should have. It felt more informative than opinionated. I think if you voiced your opinion it may make your paper stronger. Just make sure you back your opinion up with some sources.

    Also in paragraph 5, I would add some sources to back up some of your statements.

    Overall your paper was well written and informative. Good luck on your next draft!

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  12. Dear Bibek,
    I think that you had a really great essay. Compared to the last draft I think you made a lot of improvements. You had a strong entrance which was able to grab my attention and was able to start off the essay really well. There are only a couple of things that I noticed one of them being your way of wording things. At some points I was kind of confused to what you were saying. I think this could just be cured by proof reading which is something that I fail to do to. THe other thing I noticed was that although all your main points about this article were good, I feel like some of the points you were trying to make were not clear and lacked some focus. I was getting kind of confused to what you were talking about. I know that it is difficult because the article you chose wasn't an easy topic but its all the more reason to not beat around the bush with your topics. I think your final draft will turn out great! Good luck!
    Ashley

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  13. Dear Bibek,

    I really enjoyed reading your paper. First off, you had a very strong intro paragraph. I understood that you think that the bill shouldn't be passed and that other actions should be taken to solve the problem. The only thing is, you don't mention who the author of the article is. You say the title, and where it's from which is good, but not who wrote it. Also, throughout your paper, you made some really good points that really proved your position. For example, when you talked about how expensive it would be to create a carbon "market", and how about 5,000 jobs would be lost. Over all, a very good essay and good luck with your final draft!

    Hannah

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  14. Dear Bibek,

    You have definitely improved from your first draft and took the time to make sure you properly incorporated you information. In you introduction you gave a good background so that we understand the topic better. You started off well with giving information of the issue at hand, but I would suggest giving statistics and evidence to support you rebuttal. As well as numerical evidence, since this is a political issue, try to get more information about the "other side", so that you can have Acknowledgement and Response to strengthen your paper. Then your paper took a huge shift that threw me off. You started mentioning new jobs and better ways to improve things, but in your introduction your statement was, 'This bill will hurt both developing and developed countries because it will only harm the recession this world is already facing." You made a complete 180. Make sure that you keep to what your thesis statement is in the introduction. Overall you have some very good points, but stay on topic of what you state. If its change that you are aiming for, then you should consider changing your focus in the introduction, and then make sure your first couple of body paragraphs are strictly informative and then persuade in the last paragraphs. Try to make sure that your sources are not biased, so it doesn't make your paper conflicting.

    Megan

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  15. Dear Bibek,

    I enjoyed reading your article and I remember reading this certain article as a choice that I could have considered arguing. I am a fan of how you incorporated some of your statistical evidence, but at the same time, I feel you might want to consider some more sources that help your argument. There is a section where you being to start about how we must invest in finding new ways to produce more types of energy. You state it clearly that it must be our next step, but you don’t explain any of it, which I feel could strengthen your argument. I like your usage of questions in the middle of your body paragraphs. I feel they provide your voice in some of the argument, but I feel your voice needs to be a little more present through out this argument. I don’t want to say you shouldn’t be formal, but I feel I am reading a research about our economy. It can be hard to show your voice in an argument that needs a lot of statistical evidence, but I feel your voice is needed. Also with your citation, I feel your follow ups don’t give enough justice to your in paper citations. I feel you are using it at the end of all of your body paragraphs, and I feel you should just make sure that you are fully milking and explain all of your citations to increase your credibility. I wish you good luck on your final draft.

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  16. Hello Bibek!
    Wow, good on ya for choosing something that's probably not very popular! It's cool to see where other people's passions lie and how they choose to discuss it. You definitely argue something pretty controversial, but you fully take a strong stand on it. My first thought is that you should have a good hook sentence. How you start sounds like a speech, which could work out fine for the voice of your paper, but I think if your goal is to persuade your audience, then it kind of throws you off guard because it's such a statement. It must have been annoying to always discuss the editor of your article...I went in search of a name of an author, to no avail, so I feel your pain there and wish it was easier on you to reiterate the author without using the full name. I particularly liked the start to you fourth paragraph where you say, "The main debate focuses on how man can cope with this man-made problem." That really peaked my interest because you used such good diction and asked excellent questions that went answered throughout the paragraph. Maybe consider sharing some ideas on ways to solve the problem of carbon based energy and using new technology. I feel like this is something you could draw out further and be more of an informant to your audience. You had a great argument and brought up some solid points...you could add more...but I was a little confused by your ending. i wasn't entirely convinced that this was wrong and I feel like you can make it a lot stronger. You did have a nice tie in the end to the original article when you brought up the Copenhagen incident again. Good luck on your final draft, and don't be afraid to change things up! The sky's the limit.
    See ya B, Katie

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  17. Bibek,

    Very strong essay. It was refreshing to hear a well supported realists opinion on global warming. you did a good job of reinforcing your beliefs with statistical sources. I thought that you had a healthy mix of counter-argument and refutation. One thing i did notice though was that you spent a majority of your rebuttal suggesting researching beneficial technologies but were not very specific about which types of technologies these would be. Some added specificity on these technologies would add validity and strength to your argument. That being said still very good job. You might want to look into or research emissions trading or swaping and accomodate that into your paper.


    good luck
    Tom

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  18. Bibek,
    My english teacher in high school always recommended we write on a topic that don't tend to agree with, or at least, is not usually agreed with,this forces the writer to search more thoroughly for information, and subsequently sources, as well as generally spend more time, and put more emphasis on the paper. It is clear that your stance is not the widely accepted one, although like Tom said, it is the realistic choice. Your sources and information, particular statistical, is a reflection of the time put into this paper.
    Seeing as how I am the last to post, i can't offer very much help that wouldn't be redundant, so, here's a suggestion.
    I'm not a fan of your opening sentence, to be frank (or neal), it's blunt and boring. The purpose of the intro paragraph is to draw in your audience, basically, give them a first impression that will make them actually want to read the paper.
    That being said, the second sentence creates a picture of dire-ness, it, or a variation would be significantly better to start with.
    -Neal

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